It's been 4 months with basically no contact whatsoever and I think it’s well past time to have a little talk. It’s no secret that our friendship was rocky. We’ve constantly had our own little issues and arguments, and even needed to take a break from each other at times. But despite all that, you’ve been a pretty consistent part of my life for almost the past decade. We’ve shared a lot together, from bonding over Pokemon cards in health class, to spending long nights on Minecraft or Paladins, to even building an entire friend group from the ground up. But were we ever even really friends? Ever since I went off to boarding school you were the only person in Cranford who consistently talked to me. You were the only friend who I felt I had left. And you abused that, pressuring me to see and do things I didn’t want to, and when I resisted, you would hold our friendship over my head, trapping me between staying with you and being completely alone. I don’t even know if you knew you were doing this or if this was just your fucked up view of how relationships were that was borne by the mountains of trauma you refuse to attempt to heal. Either way, your subtle manipulations kept me predictable and controlled. And as we got older, and your old methods stopped working as well, we started arguing. But you couldn’t let go of your manipulation. Do you remember in the Berkshires when I told you how I felt about the way you were treating me during the trip? I told you to leave the room and give me space, and what did you do? You escalated. You told me that we had to finish our talk right there and then even though I was clearly tired and agitated, in no state to have any sort of reasonable conversation. You said if I kicked you out that you would drop me as a friend immediately, right then and there. And this wasn’t an isolated incident. Every conflict, no matter how minor, you would always escalate until it was a full blown shouting match. It was like you didn’t know how to handle things any other way, And to think you treated me well compared to how you treated others. Do you have any idea how much you hurt Alex? She hates you - deservedly so might I add. You treated her like trash, a mere object to be used and discarded once you got what you wanted. You caught her right out of a rough relationship and presented yourself as a savior figure, immediately establishing a position of power. Perfect for control. You kept her trapped, manipulated her into hating her friends, her family, and anyone else close to her she could’ve gone to. You cheated on her who knows how many times, and tried to pressure her into an open relationship she didn’t want. And the shit with Sam, the fabled “misunderstanding” that you said you would clear up with him. You never even tried to reach out to him. You knew full well that he knew what actually happened, and that you wouldn’t be able to gaslight him into believing more of your lies. Do you have any idea how hurt she was when that all came out? And to have the audacity to continue to manipulate her afterwards - fucking disgusting. In case you were wondering how she's doing, she is flourishing without you. I’ve never seen her happier. It makes me furious to think about how you stifled her. But she is free, and she is a thousand times the human that you’ll ever be. Or Brayden. Even when he was the last person who still believed you were a good person, you treated him like shit. All he ever did was try to keep him and his family alive while his father was constantly in and out of rehab, and you did nothing but put him down time and time again, escalating every minor incident into a full blown fight. Do you have any idea how hard that must’ve been for him? To have a “friend” constantly shitting on him while he already had to deal with so much stress? He was always by your side, and you struck him down just like the rest of us. And Fran. You hate her, and for what? What did she ever do to deserve your wrath? You wormed your way into a relationship with her, refused to allow her to break up with you, manipulated her into thinking we would all leave her if she did break up with you, moved into her house and leeched off her for over half a year, and refused to leave when she tried to kick you out. And yet you think she’s the villain in this story? This level of denial is insane. I have never met someone so out of touch with reality. You keep doing the same fucked up shit over, and over, and over again, refusing to learn or even attempt to improve. How many times have we done this? How many more do we need to do this before you get it through your thick skull that maybe you’re the fucking problem and that you need to change. Do you even stop to think about how your words and actions affect other people? Or are you just so selfish that you don’t even care if you drive everyone even remotely close to you away? I hope this is the wakeup call you desperately need, so please do yourself a favor and get some fucking help. I sincerely hope you’re able to improve yourself and become a better person in the future. But if you have any hopes of ever being friends again, drop them. That ship sailed years ago., Metal, Tokyo night pop,