I’m on the throne, it’s time to go, Got the squat game strong, don’t you know, My feet are flat, knees in the air, This is my kingdom, I don't have a care. I’m a shit guard, ain’t no shame, Holding the line in the bathroom game, Sit or squat, the mission's clear, Guarding the gate, no fear, no tears. Squat it low, squat it high, I’m the shit guard, no need to ask why, Through the struggle, through the fight, I’m holding steady, gonna get it right. The seat is cold, but I don’t mind, I’ve got my posture, I’m feeling fine, It’s a battle, but I’m tough, When it comes to poopin’, I’m never enough. I’m a shit guard, I’ve got the skill, Conquering the toilet with iron will, In the squat position, I stand tall, Ready to answer nature's call. Squat it low, squat it high, I’m the shit guard, no need to ask why, Through the struggle, through the fight, I’m holding steady, gonna get it right. No throne too tough, no bowl too wide, With my squat guard stance, I take it in stride, From dawn till dusk, I'll stand my ground, When nature calls, I’ll always be around. Squat it low, squat it high, I’m the shit guard, no need to ask why, Through the struggle, through the fight, I’m holding steady, gonna get it right. So here I sit, but I don’t fall, With a shit guard's heart, I stand tall, To the toilet kings and the squatters bold, Guard your throne, and let the story be told.